Thursday, October 29, 2009


The more my heart grieves, the more am becoming stronger.

From the very beginning, I have prepared myself for the waves of anxiety that will come my way – for I am certain that life will change by the time I stepped in the plane to left beloved Philippines and try my luck in Dubai. I was hopeful, sooo optimistic.

Good things came to me when I reached Dubai. It is as if I am a bird who traveled around the world and found a nest right in an unexpected tall tree. Like me, God has settled my foot on ground He thinks is best for me. I couldn’t be any luckier, I am the luckiest!

But my passion started to lay low as days passed by. Human as I am gets bored. Uncontentment overshadowed my goals. I became real anxious and hasty. Too much had happen in my life, plenty of things had change. And sometimes made it hard for me to cope up and I struggled to the race I couldn’t accept to be left behind. I dream higher, higher and higher.

Dreams have not been reached yet. Ladders are still high to step to. I am still too far yet I am becoming weak. I am becoming so soft. I often cry. I often weep.

I cry over petty things. I complain over simple things. I weep over unnecessary issues.

I could have been far better. I made tons of mistakes. I made plenty of wrong decisions. But life has to move on. I can cry, still cry over things and issues that might hurt, hurts and will hurt me. I am human being. I have feelings. I have peculiar emotions. I genuinely am a living creature that is filled with attachments that could somehow triggers the will to live life no matter how crushing it may be and how fulfilling it may be. My understanding is still shallow to identify what happiness and sadness mean. But along the way, I could pick up the pieces and somewhere out there, will form them and will make me fully understand why I had to gone through a lot. By that time, I can truly say, I lived my life to the fullest.

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